Characteristics of Adult Children Alcoholics. They usually:
guess at what normal is.
have difficulty in following a project through from beginning to end. (lack of patience, persistence, e.g. in reading books.
lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth. (lie because they make presumptions about what people might say or how they might react and that make them feeling scared).
judge themselves without mercy. (they are never good enough. If they tried a bit harder they would have succeeded).
have difficulty having fun.
take themselves very seriously.
try to keep everything in their lives and lives of others under control assuming that life would be easier and more predictable if they succeeded.
have difficulty with intimate relationships.
overreact to changes over which they have no control. (its about their safety. They did not have it in their childhood, so they try to put everything in their surrounding in right order or keep it under control, thinking that that would prevent from something that is unexpected ).
constantly seek approval and affirmation. (in their childhood there was no clear rules about what was good or bad. They were not sure whether they did something positive or negative so they could have learnt about it. When Adult Children of Alcoholics hear other people saying something positive about them, they tend do not believe this, walk away and keep asking other people whether it was true or not).
feel groundless respect towards official figures like teacher, boss, advisor, etc. Anybody, who might have a power over their lives is to be concerned as a potential threat. Adult Children of Alcoholics do not want others to take control over their lives because they have experienced that before in a negative way. Especially people, who have got enough power to do it like official figures have.
feel that they are different from other people.
are either super responsible or super irresponsible.
are extremely loyal, even in the face of evidence that loyalty is undeserved.
have the tendency to get what is important for them immediately, because tomorrow never comes.
tend to lock themselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternative behaviours or possible consequences. This impulsivity leads to confusion, self loathing, and loss of control of their environment. As a result, they spend tremendous amounts of time cleaning up the mess.